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Homebody

by Jeanne Wilder

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1.
Dog Door 04:51
Did your picture mirror mine? When you woke up and checked the time In the morning when they’re all asleep still I wait and watch from my bed Thinking of what I’ve done, what hasn’t happened yet Were you ever really real? And I feel lonely though I know I’m not alone I’m missing just of my kind to make this feel like home Yet every morning starts the same I smell your clothes I feel your name in the floor But you haven’t been here for a long time If on the same plane, we could have been friends How funny time is, how strangely it bends So I guess we’ll just keep walking through the same door Once again Did you explore this place In the winter and summer, sun on your face Jumping over every line on the ground Still somehow maybe nothing’s new Only faces are older, the garden it grew But this street sounds the same And I know I miss you though we never even met Still your memory’s in mine and I won’t forget Yet every morning’s a golden mile I hear your footsteps on the tiles Soft and small But You haven’t been here for a long time If on the same plane we could have been friends How funny time is, how strangely it bends So I guess we’ll just keep walking through the same door I have to say I’m sorry I wasn’t trying to erase you I have to say I’m sorry I’m not trying to replace you Every morning starts the same Through the hail, sunshine, cloud or rain Every morning’s a golden mile If only you could’ve stayed for a while But you haven’t been here the longest time If on the same plane, we wouldn’t pretend How funny time is, how strangely it bends So I guess we’ll just keep walking through the same door My friend
2.
Don’t let me look back I wanna feel it in reverse When we were strangers then and didn’t know how anything worked The cold night when we arrived Neon crosses punctuating skylines Oh it was the first of Many times like these Slow it down Can we replay it over again? Can we pretend that it just began? So little time And now we’ve only the rest to go I only realise what I now know I’ll be seeing you soon in - So many things that I’d forgotten about you And it’s so sour and sweet Knowing they’ll be discovered again By someone new If you erased my mind so I forgot the last night With the smoke and the drink well, I wouldn’t be upset cause I’d have one and thirty flavours To taste again
3.
I won’t say that much this time Spun the wheel used all my vowels on you Bought some letters said some vows too quiet And you didn’t hear Wrote about it told all my friends Convinced myself it wasn’t pretending this time It’s always the same it’ll pass when the wind changes Maybe I’m stuck or am I fine? Will you want to see me for more than travel advice? Tell me sweetly that I’m the one you like Saying so many things in my mind Playing so many games well I’m tired Should I just say goodnight? Moving slowly, keeping busy But they make it look so easy If you did it’d be so simple - they tell me Well I wouldn’t know Will you want to see me for more than travel advice? Tell me sweetly that I’m the one that you like If you would only let me see more of you Surely I could be your flower shop girl too Just stay alive I’ll try to keep myself in line But I spun the wheel for you Even said some foolish vows too quiet So you didn’t hear
4.
I would hug you through plastic Cause I care too much to get too close Though space feels so elastic Didn’t seconds pass? how now is it the ghost of August Of wind blew leaves through my hair So I shake you out again Oh dear I thought this would be the year We’d finally be more than friends Well we’re staying put that’s for sure 3, 5, 6 then 1 and forgetting Time is a shape we just can’t shift So we’ll do out best, we’ll make it go we’ll make it fit But I know I’ll see you on the other side In your van named Vincent and you’ll give me a ride Over the hills and far away Cutting right through the state I would kiss you through fabric Cause I care too much to get too close Still my heart pumps so ecstatic When you light up my screen, saying hey it’s meandering Slowly down every windy street Jumping puddles yet again Oh dear I thought this would be the year I’d finally find out how this ends Well the season’s changing that’s for sure 3, 5, 6 then 1 and forgetting Then we’ll keep driving All the way to the top of the hill Hear me sighing Didn’t know I’d miss this city I suppose I always will Until Time is a shape in which we live We’ll keep doing our best, to make it go we’ll make it fit Cause I know I’ll see you on the other side In your van named Vincent and you’ll give me a ride Over the hills and far away Crossing right through the state Over the hills and far away Right past today

about

Twenty twenty has been.. weird. PP (pre pandemic), everyday meant someone new but now even my dog is sick of me. PP, I was crammed in crowds but now seeing people on tv without the requisite feet makes me uneasy. PP, I had a pen friend but now we've switched to email to avoid postal delays.

But all is not lost: I've started a compost bin, become a suburban explorer and biscuit baker. It's almost a cliche that isolation is for reset and reflect but at least I can make use of my many (many) feelings.

We're getting through and through and through it.

credits

released September 24, 2020

Written by Jeanne Cheong

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Jeanne Wilder Melbourne, Australia

Taking inspiration from one of her namesake's best loved films, Jeanne Wilder's music is sweet, a little off beat and not always what it seems - dream sequence included.

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